Baby's first cold.

Three days now. THREE! Three nights of no sleep. Three nights of getting up every 2 hours. Three nights of not being able to sleep because I hear noises that scare the absolute shit.out.of.me! Last night I was having to share my bed with a 4 & 6.5yr old. Crying because his butt was itchy but not before waking his Brother up. I say he was just over tired because he never sleeps. Why dont the kids in this house know how to sleep!!?? I get the baby, he's sick. The other two? Always stuff around at bedtime, always up at 6 - or just after.... and straight away FIGHT / ARGUE / DOB / WHINGE! FML! Today I just want to run and hide. I want to sleep. I want to dream. I want the sunshine to come out. No more cold and wet and crappyarse days!
Getting my hair done on Tuesday for the first time in over 9 months! Sad. I need to get my eyebrows done too. Need a whole body make over too. Need a million dollars too.
I feel like I need to come to terms with the fact that I am not the Mum / Parent that I want to be. I thought that this solo parenting gig would be ok. Turns out I suck, and I rely ALOT on my Husband. Most likely alot more than anyone should rely on another person.

I still feel alone. Wish I had someone to talk to. Dont know what I would say but I want that option. Someone who really cares and helps. Had the 4yr old pack his bag and tell me he didnt want to live with me anymore. {contents of bag were - toy camera, dreamworks cards, Charley Bear and his homework folder - clearly has his priorities right! Not even 1 pair of clean jocks in sight!} That night sucked so bad. Might not ever make mashed potato again, if thats what Im going to get. I thought mash potato was yum. Clearly its move out of home material. My bad!
Im so tired, exhausted and overwhelmed today. I want to stay in bed with a few rekorderligs, something yummy to eat and a chick flick or two. Then I want to sleep for eleventy hundred years and I dont want to be disturbed once. Not once.
Started to get some ideas together for painting this shithole. Dont know why I feel like throwing money down the drain, I mean... Its not like painting will ever be done properly or even get finished. Heck, I've still got a half painted kitchen / dining area from about 4 years ago!! Maybe 3. Or Maybe 2. I cant remember but it wasnt yesterday. It should have been done already. So many things should have been done already. The bathroom got renovated about 2 years ago and we still havent got a shower screen so water pisses everywhere and has warped some of the new cupboard. Still hasnt been painted. Nothing gets finished because we're too lazy or too poor.
Its so fricken hard to be a parent and be responsible for so many things in life. Wouldnt change none of it for the world though. Except for the sleep part. Kids should sleep from 7pm - 7am school days and 8pm-9am on weekends. It should be hardwired into their dna or some shit. God or Apes or who ever created us, there's a recommendation for you to look into for future humans.
Tomorrow the Husband is home for a few days... I cant bloody wait. I've missed him so much.